february 21

86 more days.... holy cow only 86 days!!

i'm sure if you have kept up with my life at all you can guess what that countdown is for, but for those of you who may not know me or may have missed the memo, i will be graduating from seminary in 86 days. :)

so far i've been doing pretty well staying on top of my assignments and even working ahead just a little bit. as in one of the eight books i have to read i have already read two of, and i've already started working on a big project that isn't due till the end of the semester. lol i would not bank on this too much yet, i am sure the pressure will increase soon enough. but in 86 days the last three years will be an accomplished goal and all the sleepless nights and stressful days will have been completely worth that piece of paper.

so i really want to brag on my wonderful God and his awesomeness for a few minutes. so just a few weeks ago i was feeling really lost. i feel like i finally surrendered and followed God's plan and came to seminary and worked so hard to do my best and God has lit the way for me day after day and now here i am about to finish school. i literally wrote in my journal one night that i felt like God had led me to this edge of a cliff and just left me there. i felt like all that was ahead of me was darkness and that i felt weak and small. this is literally what i wrote one night and the very next morning i got up and had my quiet time and this is what i read.
psalm 18:28-29 You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness. In your strength I can crush an army, with my God I can scale any wall.

now i am a visual learner and so i just closed my eyes and immediately saw myself standing at the edge of a cliff with darkness but ahead of me, in the distance was the cross with a magnificent light shinning behind it. now trust me i know this can sound sort of cheesy, but it was one of the most amazing pictures i have ever seen and i wish more than anything that i was an artist so that i could attempt to draw this out. but it just made me realize that i don't need my future lit up for me. all i need to do is focus on the light of Christ and trust him and step out into the darkness. God truly spoke to me and gave me a whole new outlook on faith.

so while nothing has changed yet, i am ready to step out into the darkness if that is what God wants me to do after may 18th!